dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
