There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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