He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
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