he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
