I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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