So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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