Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Randomize
