Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
