that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
