She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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