Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
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