Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
