I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Randomize
