She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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