I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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