Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
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just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
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He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
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