wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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