Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Nicole vs. Life
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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