Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize