i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
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