you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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