Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I know her cup size but not her name....
why is half of my head shaved?
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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