Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
