Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Randomize
