there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
