We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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