k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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