How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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