Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
porn star boner night. come get it.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize