it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
