dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Randomize
