Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
