Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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