I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
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