ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
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