I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize
