Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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