fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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