i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Cover your peen. We're going out.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
