Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize