who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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