let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
