I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize