Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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