just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
