i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
