his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
