shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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