you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Randomize
