Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Randomize
