I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
