ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
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