They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Randomize
