Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Randomize
