i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
