My hand turned me down
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
