Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
