Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
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im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
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We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
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