apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
