I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
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