Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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