i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I'm like, not good at living.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
