there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
