so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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