he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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