eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
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