I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
