You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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