I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Randomize
