Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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