It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
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