Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
