I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
