best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
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don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
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his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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