So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Randomize
